Mr. Brian Roche:

I really cannot describe what 15 October means. I was on social media last night. Through the loss of my children I have made many friends in Australia, America and throughout the world. There was such a warming sense of comfort from each other as we came to 7 p.m. The International Stillbirth Alliance suggests that at 7 p.m. in each time zone people light a candle and keep it lit for an hour.

In essence, they say there is a virtual lighting of candles around the world. As each hour passed, my friends and I posted photographs of candles and put our children's names up. My Facebook wall was full of candles at one stage last night. It gave comfort to me and to my wife who was looking at it also. We are all on a journey and support is there for each one of us. It was an opportunity for people to acknowledge their children, their names and to show they are and will always be part of the family. The national day on 15 October provides an opportunity for people who were bereaved long ago who never had a chance to openly acknowledge their child or their loss. I know of one woman who lost a child 40 years ago who lit a candle. I met her recently and she said last year was the first time she publicly acknowledged the loss of her child by lighting a candle on 15 October. That is what it means to us. It is cost neutral to run the event. Whatever we do on the day such as balloon releases is for us, the parents. We are not looking for the Government to pay for anything we organise. Coming up on the train this morning I showed my mother photos of two big hotels in Las Vegas that turned the inside of their fires pink and blue in recognition of the day.

A question was asked about counselling. When we were on this journey with our girls, we received counselling from the start. We had counselling throughout the pregnancy. We did not receive bereavement counselling until afterwards. We did not know when they would pass and neither Liz nor I wanted to deal with the loss until it happened. We had to make as many memories as we could for as long as we had them with us. We did get bereavement counselling afterwards and without it we would not have got as far as we are today.

Reference was made to first days at school and birthdays. My then five-year old daughter, Lynn, was starting back to school in high infants in September after we had lost the girls in August. That summer, four of the other mothers were due to have babies. We met the teacher and explained the situation. The teacher called us after Lynn's first day and said that when she asked for news, our daughter was the first girl to put up her hand. She said she had two baby sisters who are gone to heaven. She said she was as proud as punch. Nothing held her back. That showed me we had done a good job. Her sisters are part of her family. Her younger sister, Abbie, is five now and she knows her sisters are part of her family and always will be. They are always spoken about. It is not a taboo subject. Last night, when we were lighting the candles, each of us lit a candle. We lit four candles and we lit one for our friends as well.