Ruairi Ó Murchú (Louth, Sinn Fein) | Oireachtas source

According to Women's Aid Dundalk, sexual abuse and sexual violence are often among the last things to be revealed by a woman coming to its service. This is because the bodily integrity of the woman has been violated and is only disclosed when the woman has gained trust in the service and gained confidence in how her other disclosures were dealt with. As the research shows, it is not only women who are victims and survivors but, unfortunately, the huge majority are. In this research, there is a relatively high level of reporting of sexual violence when it is perpetrated by a stranger but it is far lower when it is done by someone the woman knows. This is also because it is often perpetrated by a person who is supposed to love and care for the victim or survivor. It is good that the research has been done and publicised. It is welcome that the strategy of zero tolerance is being progressed but the report shows that a huge amount of work still needs to be done. Coercive control, including sexual and domestic violence, has a deeply corrosive and eroding effect on victims. By the time they reach out to seek help, they have suffered for a long time and often present to organisations like Women's Aid, asking if it was really abuse. They worry it is somewhat in their imagination when it is in fact very real.

Waiting lists for services looking after domestic violence and sexual violence victims in my locality like Women's Aid, Rape Crisis North East, Dundalk Counselling Centre and others are absolutely through the roof. They are finding it difficult to deal with the numbers coming to them. This is a particular issue for one-to-one and children's support services. There is a need for State services, whether they are local authorities, the Garda or social protection, to continue to progress their understanding of domestic and sexual violence and how victims present. We know there are still failings despite improvements; many spoke before about the huge issues when someone tries to get a service and how they are treated. We also spoke about refuges. Though far from the perfect solution, when there is a need for a service like that, it must exist. Currently, the reality for women leaving domestic and sexual violence situations is that the State services they reach out to are not flexible enough. Perhaps people have not been trained sufficiently to examine this situation. It is easy to say "instinctively understand" it, but we must ensure the people dealing with those at the end of their tether, having gone through what they have, provide a fit-for-purpose service to facilitate and help these people. These services were not set up to examine situations through the lens of domestic or sexual violence. We must ensure there is something which can respond to those with these very specific needs.

We often deal with a presumption that women can just leave. People often ask why they did not do it sooner. This question goes to the heart of our understanding around survivors and entirely ignores the more correct question of, why did he do that to her? Responsibility is often heaped on the victim in these situations without any regard to the abuser and the acts they committed. It ignores the fact that the survivor often has put up with years of coercive control, physical and sexual violence or financial abuse, is often isolated and the corrosive effect that has on human beings. For those who speak out, they often reveal their abuser as someone who is violent, abusive and threatening. In many cases, the abuser is a pillar of the community, someone who is outwardly a good, sound person, a hard worker and a great pal. Society and often the authorities do not recognise the person, often the man, the woman is describing, so it baulks from her description and turns away. The question is, who knows the abuser better than the person who has had to go home with him or her every night for many years?

See this speech in context