Louise O'Reilly (Dublin Fingal, Sinn Fein) | Oireachtas source

When I was about eight years old I was on my first Take Back the Night march with my mother. It stuck in my mind what we chanted: "No matter what we are or where we go, 'Yes' means 'Yes' and 'No' means 'No'". That was 40 years ago, give or take. I have been on to too many protests, I have been marching too many times and we have worn out too much shoe leather. We know what the issues are and we should not still have to be on the streets and be highlighting the epidemic of violence against women. We should not have to keep telling our stories. We are sick and tired of telling our stories. We are sick and tired of taking that which happened to us and putting it into the public sphere. We nearly have to beg for allies, for politicians to listen and for men to understand. We are fed up with it. I have noticed in the last week that not only are women angry but they are fed up. I talked to my mother and we are fed up at this stage. We are fit to say that is enough is enough but we know we have said that too many times before.

The tragic killing of Ashling Murphy has sparked a national debate. From Belfast to Ballincollig and everywhere in between we have seen women and men gather together and silently reflect on the loss of Ashling, on all women who have been lost to violence and on the fact that many of us experience a real fear on a daily basis. I like to run. I am not very good at it and I cannot run very far or fast but I like to run. When I go out I am always careful because I try, as a woman approaching 50 years of age, to not “bring it on myself”. Imagine that is what I do before I leave the house. I have spoken to my husband about this and it comes as a revelation to good and decent men but I check myself before I go and think about what I am doing to “bring this on myself”. That should not happen and that is not personal to me but that is every women before they go out. We think about what we are wearing, where we are going, who will be there, how we are getting there and how we will get home. We ask ourselves these questions all of the time and carry out that little mental checklist: who will be there, will it be safe, is anyone coming home in the taxi with me and if I could persuade my husband to stay up and drive into town to bring me home. I am not afraid of the dark. I am grown woman, not a child, but I am afraid of being in the dark on my own or with someone behind me. That is not acceptable.

The Minister of State, Deputy Rabbitte, is right. We have to call it out when we see it and that means all of us. For most of my adult life I have worked in areas that are dominated by men, including the trade union movement and politics. I have been subjected to sustained and crippling sexual harassment in a previous job and when I raised concerns my boss told me that I was tougher than the men in that workplace and he asked me what I was going on about. To my shame, I did not say anything. I took it on the chin and I smiled because I thought that both of us were in on the joke, me and the boss, but it was not funny. I should have called it out and we should always, always call it out. To the good, decent men in the Oireachtas, I ask how many of them can honestly say they have never witnessed sexual harassment, that they have never been present when a sexist or misogynistic joke has been told. How many of you spoke up? The most important question is will you speak up now. When you hear the joke or sentiment or when you see one of your colleagues or someone from another political party being degraded will you speak out, will you call it out for what it is and stand up? We must stand up and acknowledge that violence against women happens because of the culture that is created by people who do not call it out.

We received an email yesterday that was circulated to all Deputies and I was struck by one line in it. It said:

Preventing men’s violence against women starts with creating a zero-tolerance culture towards misogyny and sexism that creates the context in which gender-based violence occurs.

That is why we have to call it out. I have written to the Ceann Comhairle to ask that we undertake bystander intervention training in these Houses. That is important and we should be doing that. I hope the Houses of the Oireachtas Commission will accede to that request.

A lot of what will be discussed today will be triggering for women. The Women’s Aid helpline is there at 1800 341 900. Women’s Aid is 50% funded by charity. It does brilliant work but it has to raise 50% of its funding. Every shilling that it raises represents time spent raising money when it should be helping women. We need to reflect on that.

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