Ms Stephanie Whyte:

Whatever the model, there would need to be associated supports for family relationships. Irrespective of the structure and what it looks like, we must have a situation in which parents can adequately address their own feelings and how they can manage them separately from the management of the children and in a way that ensures there is a positive focus on the children. Even when there is entrenched conflict, parents should be helped to understand the impact on their children and to ensure the children are separated from the conflict going on between their parents. Sometimes, there is a context of very aggressive behaviour by one of the partners involved even below the threshold of domestic abuse. Entrenched conflict can be very difficult and we know children feel a sense of responsibility for conflict between their parents. They feel it is their fault that mom and dad cannot agree, mom has to chase dad for money and dad does not pay mom. They blame themselves. We must have a situation in which there are supports around whatever model is used that allow people to manage their relationships and put the children at the centre. Parents need to be supported to prepare themselves for engaging in the processes in a way that ensures children are not included and embroiled in the conflict.