Ms Carmel McDonnell Byrne:

I am very passionate about this. Mr. Justice Ryan recommended that there would be a memorial but that failed when it went to planning permission. The question is extremely personal to me. We were a family of eight and within the first year of being in an institution, I lost two brothers in a drowning accident while they were in an institution not far from Dublin city. The accident happened in County Donegal. I carry that with me all the time. I had met them last on a Saturday morning and by 7.30 p.m. on that Saturday evening, they were dead. It is so important that we remember the survivors who passed, some of whom have died because of suicide. When I was given this very traumatic news, the nun in charge thought it was okay to give me a bullseye sweet for each boy who died and then I was told to go and say my prayers. It has taken me years to grieve. Imagine, at the age 11, being told that one's two brothers had died and being given a sweet. That is the way they valued our lives. We need to remember. We need a national day for survivors. It has to be there in our history. We have it for other parts of our past, whereby 1916, for example, is remembered but this is so important for me. That is what happened my two brothers, I lost a sister at 50 years.

Again, this was through institutional care and things that happened to her and I lost another brother at 60. I am the longest living member of the eight siblings. The other three are doing okay but they do have medical issues.

My family is just one family. All those of us who are survivors are brothers and sisters. We did not know one another and yet from what I am hearing from the opening statements this morning, we are all speaking from the same position. We just want to be honoured and not dishonoured or disempowered. We were so disempowered. We were the forgotten children and now it looks like we could be the forgotten adults.

In the centre where I deal with survivors, they are now worrying. They are thinking "I did get my redress money. I do not want to spend it because I do not want to go into another institution." Can we imagine how frightening that is? That is our history. We, as survivors, are carrying this shame and we are not the perpetrators. Should we disclose how much we get, we would be penalised. If we disclose again, there is a sentence. Somebody must be held accountable. There is too much secrecy and too many lies.

If I was go back now, my evidence to the commission would be very different because I was terrified when I gave it. Even at that, we do not really get the core of what happened because it was so bad. Of all the things that happened to me in my life, the redress was the worst. It related to picking up the pieces up from survivors who came back from it because they had to regurgitate what happened. Some committed suicide. The only reason is because we were not believed, which was not right. These records are filed away. They have gone into a black abyss, never to be seen again. As a survivor, I appeal to the committee to listen to what we have to say, give us a choice and at least ask us "Yes", "No" or "Maybe".

Over recent years, I have seen survivors evolve from those who did not want to be in photographs. We saw it last year with honouring the Magdalen ladies. One woman had attended my centre for years and I did not know she was a Magdalen lady. I knew she had been in an institution and, of course, a Magdalen laundry was another institution. She was carrying that shame. When I met her, she was so embarrassed that she said "Oh please don't tell anybody you saw me." This woman is in her 60s. Why are we carrying shame. I am 64. Why, along with every other survivor, am I carrying this pain for the rest of my days? This is why a memorial should be inclusive. I know today's session is about the Bill but that is all I have to say.