Mr. Joe Slattery:

I thank the committee for inviting my colleague and me to share our experience of working alongside families impacted by a loved one's drug or alcohol misuse. The Northstar Family Support Project is a long-established and well-trusted community-based service working with individuals and families in the Limerick region impacted by a loved one’s drug or alcohol use.

Due to the stigma, shame and emotional distress associated with drug use, especially for parents with adult children in addiction, people can go years before reaching out for support. During this time, they frequently withdrawn from many regular activities involving extended family, friends, social activities and employment. They are so focused on trying to help the person in addiction and protect the rest of the family from the impact of it that they are totally unaware of how much they have been impacted themselves, emotionally, physically and psychologically.

In many cases, family members are fearful of violence in the home or threats from drug dealers. There are also participants who fear that social services may get involved with their families, delaying their motivation to seek support. Addiction does not discriminate and impacts families from all walks of life and social standing. Regardless of where you live or how much money you have, the emotional distress and shame are the same. No one looks at their newborn child and thinks "Someday you're going to destroy your life and our lives because of addiction." Their hopes and dreams of how life will be for their child are gone and all they can do is grieve for what could have been, as opposed to what is.

There are several services providing supports for those misusing alcohol and drugs, but supports for families are extremely thin on the ground and, in most cases, poorly funded or provided as a secondary support. The impact of addiction on families is felt 24-7. There is no break. Christmas, holidays, family events like weddings, communions, funerals - the constant worry is always there.

Partners, especially those who are parents, are stuck in constant emotional turmoil regarding how best to respond to their loved ones. Addiction in the home tears families apart. Due to the severe lack of supports for people in active addiction who are not ready to change their drug-using behaviours, the only option parents have is to make them homeless or continue to live in despair. This is every parent's worst nightmare and something that is not done lightly. It usually happens only after many years of trying to fix a loved one's addiction issues. Try to imagine the level of despair it must take for a parent to say, "I wish they would just die so this pain would end", "Grieving them would be less painful than living like this", "I hope the judge locks them up so I can sleep at night knowing where they are" or "I would rather be dead than have to continue to live like this." Statements like these are voiced far too often and what motivates them needs to be addressed.

On the other side, many partners, predominantly mothers with children who are stuck in loveless, abusive relationships due to a lack of housing, have no choice but to live in the same home as the person in addiction. Such people live in fear and constant worry regarding how the environment will damage their children and what version of their partners will show up at the door.

Here are some direct quotes from the participants who attended Northstar:

Depression. Just didn't have the will to live because of despair of hopelessness.

My symptoms changed daily. I never know from one day to the next what's going to happen and how I'll feel.

I was in despair and crisis. Helpless and powerless, anxious, spaced out and confused. In depression.

The activities of Northstar, coupled with the trauma-informed ethos of the organisation, develop participants' self-esteem and confidence and support them in building a range of coping skills that enhance their day-to-day lives. Over time, this challenges participants to explore and address their life circumstances and personal traumas, fostering independence, particularly through one-to-one and peer support groups, access to counselling and a range of other personal development and social options.

Here are quotes from participants who attended the service:

Brought me face to face with my feelings. I had always run away from them before.

I am stronger now and can face things and stand up for myself, which I never could do.

Before I could never laugh at such things. Now I can. I can reflect on my life and laugh at what was at the time painful and terrifying. I am in a better place now. The past is over, and I can move forward.

Northstar Family Support Project is extremely lucky that it receives appropriate funding that allows it to provide a wraparound service to families impacted. However, we are fully aware that this is not just a Limerick city issue and that there are families throughout this country who are severely impacted by family members' addiction, death due to drug use, imprisonment due to drug use, homelessness, street begging, sex working, drug debt intimidation, and videos and pictures of loved ones showing up on social media who do not have a Northstar to turn to.

Family members are the collateral damage of addiction-----