Averil Power (Fianna Fail) | Oireachtas source

As things stand, gay people can adopt. As of today, they can only do so as individuals, which only penalises the children, because when a couple adopts and only one of the parents has a legal relationship with the child, that is damaging for the child because it does not give him or her a legal connection and support from the second parent. Under the family law Bill that is currently going through the House, by this time next week all cohabiting couples and people in civil partnerships will be able to adopt. The argument is a complete red herring. Regardless of whether people vote "Yes" or "No" in the referendum, same-sex partners will be able to adopt. It is important to look at the experience we have from fostering, as gay couples have been fostering very successfully for many years and providing a loving and supportive environment for children from very difficult circumstances whose earlier lives were very difficult, and giving them a second chance.

While people get obsessed with adoption, it is important to point out that only a handful of children are adopted in Ireland currently. In fact, it is probably not enough. Last year there were 112 adoptions, of which almost 100 were by family members involving step-parents or other relatives. It is most disingenuous that certain groups try to portray the referendum as being about issues such as adoption. Moreover, the important point is that regardless of whether people vote “Yes” or “No”, children are being brought up in same-sex families. Many gay people have children of their own from previous relationships, from a time when they were not comfortable coming out and ended up marrying someone of the opposite sex and going through the torment and pain of marital breakdown before setting up a second relationship. They have children and they are acting as parents. Voting “No” in the referendum just denies those children the protection and support they need. This is not about a referendum about notional children that might be created on 23 May; it is a referendum about real families that exist and that deserve support. No child should be discriminated against because of his or her family environment. Every child deserves the same support. Moreover, research shows that the most important thing from a child development point of view is that children are brought up in a happy and stable home. It does not matter whether that is by a single parent, by step-parents, by a widow, grandparents or two mothers or fathers. The most important thing is that a child is cared for and supported.

The kind of prejudice we see against families headed by same-sex couples is precisely the type of prejudice that was previously visited on single parents - women who were shamed because they left violent situations before we had divorce in this country. They walked away because it was safer for themselves and for their children, but they were ashamed because of an ideology in this country that said one had to stay with one’s husband no matter what, and their children were discriminated against as a result. That is precisely the same type of judgmentalism and discrimination that is experienced by same-sex families. It is also the same type of attitude that led to adopted people such as me – there are approximately 60,000 or 70,000 of us in this country - being forcibly separated from our mothers. My mother and many others got pregnant when they were not married, and Irish society made a judgment that one was better off being with any married couple than with one’s own mother. It is the same people who now talk about mothers and fathers who argued for a long time in this country that one was far better off with anyone else than one’s biological mother because they did not think one’s biological mother was worthy.