The macho culture makes men feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness. The degree to which young men are unable to tell anyone they are experiencing difficulties is a problem. We must look beyond psychotherapy and examine the values of society and its priorities. We must look at the language we use. I hate the word "loser", which is now part of common parlance, particularly among young people. It is a dreadful word. It was never heard 20 years ago because people were not categorised as losers. It is meant casually, but it institutionalises the idea that competitive success is vital.