Maureen O'Sullivan (Dublin Central, Independent) | Oireachtas source

It is opportune that we are discussing domestic violence. The Christmas spirit is normally associated with the season of goodwill and harmony but we know that it is a time of particular difficulty for many people, particularly those subjected to domestic violence. These are mainly women but increasingly men suffer domestic violence. We have quite a lot of statistical information from the extent of calls to helplines, the numbers of people availing of support from agencies and the number of admissions to refuges. The saddest statistic of all relates to those who apply to refuges but the refuges are full and cannot take them in.

We tend to think of domestic violence as being physical and sexual but we know there are other forms like bullying and emotional and verbal abuse. Economic violence is another form. I came across someone who had been in a very controlled environment relationship and never really knew what it was like to have money of her own or to be able to decide how that money would be spent. I remember her sharing her elation when she was able to get out of that relationship with support, when she actually had money in her hand that was her own and she could make decisions as to how she was going to spend it. It is probably not regarded as being as serious as physical and sexual violence but she also suffered.

Verbal abuse also does not get the attention it deserves. The old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is completely wrong. I have seen people who have been reduced to abject feelings of worthlessness because of the words that were used to and about them. What will be particularly challenging is the way technology such as home and mobile phones is being used to monitor, read messages, control and intimidate the movement of people. It can involve people being stalked through social networking sites and these sites being used to spread lies and attack reputations, sometimes using graphic sexual images, some of which are real and some of which are imposed. This will be difficult to address.

International research shows that 25% of women who experience domestic violence are first assaulted during pregnancy. A couple of years ago, the Rotunda Hospital carried out a similar study which showed that one in eight women had first been assaulted during pregnancy. Abuse does not just come from current partners. It also comes from former partners. We also see relationships where both partners are abusive.

There is no doubt that alcohol in particular plays a huge role in domestic violence. An EU report this year showed that Denmark, Sweden and Finland had the highest rates of domestic and sexual violence in Europe. We know that these countries have problems with alcohol, as has Ireland. Following on from what Deputy Clare Daly said, it is a fact that when both Finland and the US introduced prohibition, the rates of domestic violence fell dramatically in the first few years.

Power and fear are at the root of all domestic violence and abuse. There is control on one side and fear on the other and fear will paralyse. It stunts emotional, intellectual and psychological growth and development. The answer begins at the cradle and with empowering people and giving them from early childhood the confidence, the self-esteem and the skills not to get into that particular situation, and if they were in that abusive situation, the confidence to get out of it. We also know that there are women and young girls who knowingly go into relationships with men with a reputation for violence. This comes back to confidence and self-esteem. We know the numbers who withdraw charges and the numbers who go back into abuse sometimes thinking that it is better for the children.

My next point is about language and young men and boys in particular. Sometimes they do not have the language skills to communicate how they feel. It does not excuse what they do but sometimes their only way to express themselves is through their fists. In many cases, this is learned behaviour so we see cycles of domestic violence because there are young men who do not know any other way to behave towards young women except through violence. This cycle must be broken. The debate is good and welcome regardless of the hour and time.

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