Paudge Connolly (Cavan-Monaghan, Independent)

We are all familiar with the concept of street angel and house devil as it relates to a parent who acts so lovingly in public, but we do not know what happens behind closed doors. Domestic violence happens and we see its signs and symptoms. We are only looking at the tip of the iceberg. People do not seek help after the first episode of domestic violence. It has been mentioned earlier that it is upwards of 45 times on average before people seek help. Some never seek help. When we think of domestic violence we automatically think of physical violence and forget about psychological, emotional, financial abuse and controlling situations. These are all forms of violence that can have a devastating effect on the partner who is suffering it.

The better off tend to seek help and learn enabling skills to help them to cope. As mentioned earlier, if people learn to cope with the situation and show it is not affecting them as badly as it might, that in itself leads to a reduction in the amount of violence these people suffer.

If one challenges a bully he will lie down. One can challenge him in the house or by stating that one will seek professional help. That is the last thing a bully wants. He does not want the violence to leave his controlled area which is his bedroom, living room or his own house. He is familiar with that territory and is happy to have the bullying and violence take place in that particular patch.

The main sufferers in all of this violence are the children of such relationships. It is usual for the family unit to consist of four or five children. They are the people who really suffer from this violence. Children should also be allowed to access help and, perhaps, they should be taught that through the school curriculum. I suppose all difficult situations are heaped on the teacher in the school. This is one of the times the child is out of the home and is impressionable. The teacher is a person they respect. I suggest the matter be included as part of the transition year programme in schools.

It is clear from the statistics on domestic violence that women do not avail of the therapeutic services available, particularly for their children. The tragedy is that they need the consent of both parents before they can access the services. I cannot see a violent father allowing his children to receive counselling to learn how to cope with his violence. That is a difficulty. The consent of one parent should be more than adequate to allow them access to a particular counsellor. This is a learned behaviour and it often stays with families. If children see it in their own family it is likely they will carry it on because they see it as a form of normal behaviour in a household. We must stop this type of behaviour as early as possible in the cycle.

According to last year's statistics, from the excellent report of the National Crime Council, the first major study in this area, domestic violence has reached epidemic proportions. In my constituency of Cavan-Monaghan, Tearmann Domestic Violence Service deals with women and men but refer the men on to the Amen centre. The service had 127 new clients from County Monaghan last year. Some 932 telephone calls were made to the helpline. However, in the Cavan part of my constituency there is no such office. I have no doubt the outpatient service in Cavan is availed of to the fullest extent.

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