Ms Stephanie Whyte:

In Barnardos, for example, we work with parents to help them to understand the new dynamic in which they find themselves. A phrase we often use is "unhooking emotionally" from the partner, which is a very difficult thing for some parents to do. They still try to control or influence the parenting style of the other parent even after separation. We try to work with parents to help them to understand the new situation in which they find themselves in terms of their relationship with their child, how they can engage with the child to help him or her to understand what is happening and how they can develop positive and constructive means of communication, agreement and negotiation with their ex-partner before they have to go into the formality of agreement. We provide those kinds of family support services across the country, as do our peers who are represented here today, to support parents to engage productively and constructively in addressing conflict and keeping the children out of it.