Ms Cathy Wheatley:

I suppose our stories are very well covered at this point. One thing that has not been covered, however, is the fact that when we started to undergo surrogacy, it was very taboo. Nobody was talking about it. It was hidden. I remember going to a NISIG meeting and meeting people who were going through it. My husband thought, “Wow. These are all normal people. We can do this.” It was amazing. One of the things that we are trying to do in Irish Families Through Surrogacy as well is to break down those myths around surrogacy and tell people the truth, our truth and the reality of it. Lately, we have been trying so hard to raise the social awareness of surrogacy. Thanks to the likes of the committee and its members because it has been invaluable to us to shine a spotlight on it, destigmatise it and take away the myths. As a mother of children born to surrogacy, I do not want my children to be stigmatised because of the way that they were born. Children are children, no matter how they were conceived. My job, as their mother - all of our jobs - is to fight for them to make sure that in no way are they being made to feel different.

This week, I faced the reality of not being able to sign another legal document. I faced it previously when Elsie was sick and I was sitting in the car park at the hospital crying my eyes out. This week, they started playschool. It was a very exciting day in our household. Obviously, when children start playschool, the schools need forms. I brought the forms home and my husband filled them in the night before. When I was walking my children up to the door to playschool, I did not have the same nervous excitement for them or the same emotional feelings of them being let out into the real world. In my stomach, I had the anxiety and upset of knowing that I had forgotten those forms that my husband had filled in. I did not know if my children would be turned away that day because of that.

When I got to the door of the playschool, in front of all the people there, I had to tell them I did not have the forms and had forgotten them. They said that was no problem and to just fill them in now. In front of all my peers, and my children's peers, I had to say I could do that. It made me think, as they are taking their first steps into the world, about how many other times this will be the case. How can one tell a child who is excited to go on a school trip that mammy cannot sign the permission slip? How can we stand there and know that because of the choices we made and the legislation that is not in place they will be discriminated against, if it is not changed? I cannot let that happen. I do not think any of us can. Ted and Elsie are my world. I would do absolutely anything for them, as everyone would for their children. The realisation at that moment at the playschool door was then compounded by the fact that the teacher said to Elsie, "Your mother is going to go and get the forms" and Elsie said, "She is not my mother". I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. In those moments, everything went through my head, including whether she was aware that, in law, I am not her mother, and whether she was aware of the conversations we will subsequently be having. It felt like a lifetime but after two seconds she looked at the teacher and said, "She's my mammy." That is what it boils down to for me.

Irish Families Through Surrogacy is trying to raise awareness around this. We have been involved in lots of advocacy. We have done research studies with universities. We have collaborated with international organisations to ensure best practice is in place, even in respect of how we talk to our children. We have been a liaison between our members, the Department of Foreign Affairs and Senator Seery Kearney in order to make sure the information is quick, clear and concise to people. That is all we can do. We then come here to plead with members to make sure I do not have to face days like that any more. On the issue of recognition, and Ted and Elsie understanding, I will pass over to Ms Keegan because NISIG has recently run workshops that have been very beneficial to us.