Ms Suzanne Connolly:

We know that one of the best ways children learn to be sensitive to others is when they have an attuned parent who is sensitive to them. If, through the parenting relationship from when the baby is born, a child feels seen, heard and responded to in all the things he or she goes through, and if the child feels safe, then gradually he or she will learn how to regulate the emotions and will then be in a position to be a particular type of growing child. Often, children who have experienced very harsh home environments learn to manage their negative feelings in particular and then they go to school and act it out. In a sense, when I spoke about prevention or intervention I was referring to our early years services, but I could have gone back a lot further, even to how the mother is supported in pregnancy, if she has a partner there, which matters, and the support provided in those crucial times after the baby is born. Children are learning constantly from a very early age that they are valued and valuable.

If a person feels valued and valuable, he or she will value other people.

We teach in the friendship group how children can negotiate with each other. As adults we are not in a school playground. One of the tricky things that can happen us as adults is to know when to interfere with difficulties in friendships. We want to help children negotiate for themselves because they need to learn those skills. We are trying to coach. We have had friendship groups where children were able to say to another child "I felt very bullied by you" and as an adult one does not react to that. An adult asks the child to explain more and tries to get the children to sort it out. I have known of situations where parents have gone into schools and they have tried to address it, and sometimes they have to if it is very serious, but if a parent intervenes too soon, the parent is not helping the child.