Dr. Colman Noctor:

If this has an easy solution, we would have found it by now. When we should have started doing this is approximately six years ago is probably the answer. The issue of the bystander is about value systems. We need to focus less on rules and more on values in schools. The parents have an important role in this. Bullying is not an issue that only affects disadvantage; it happens in all social spheres. Even with the parents who are dismissive of their child's role as perpetrator, it is often not due to a lack of education, awareness or shame. It could be just dismissive of a sense of accountability and responsibility to try to do something about it. The value system has to spread across the parents. I believe they are crucial. We all might agree with the bystander role but, as a parent, would I encourage my eight-year-old to get involved in a row between two others? I am not entirely sure I would do that to the degree that I would like to think I would, if that makes sense.

Some of the anti-bullying information comes through a website or is circulated as a big glossy document. It is something that is developed by a board of management or some entity outside. It must be developed from the inside out. The only bullying policies I have ever seen as effective have been developed by students, so get them involved and ask them what they would do. One school, whose name I cannot recall, had an intimidation squad. It comprised three children. If a child was getting grief, he or she would go to them. They were fifth and sixth years who would listen to the student and talk him or her through it. That is students finding their own solutions as opposed to having a formalised channel. It is parent buy-in, school buy-in and cultural buy-in. The bystander issue is not easy. It is a hard thing to ask people to do. The playground politic is very difficult: "Do I become a target as soon as I raise my head in this and will the bully turn on me?". It has to be a collective effort. To be a single upstander in a group of bystanders is challenging. We must be able to support children meaningfully to do that. As to how one does it, I do not have the answer. However, just because one does not have the answer does not mean we should not ask the right questions or rummage around to find it, if that makes sense.