Dr. Claire Hayes:

That is a great question. The Deputy is absolutely right. It highlights that at times it is not the bullying itself; it is the perception. Some children might be excluded because they are not liked or because it is an afterthought. If they or their parents are looking at life through the bullying lens, then much of the behaviour can be seen as them being bullied. It is important to look at that and help children stand back a little bit from it and take responsibility for it themselves, but also to be able to acknowledge how they are feeling about it. They feel hurt and upset because they think they are being bullied or they think that they are being deliberately excluded, but they have choices over how they respond to that. Throughout life, as adults, we have experiences where we might perceive we are excluded, either deliberately or unintentionally, and we learn how to respond to that. It is important that children of all ages start taking responsibility for the choices they have in responding to either deliberate bullying or behaviour that they perceive to be bullying.