Ms Stella O'Malley:

I am a psychotherapist and author who works in private practice in County Offaly. My work focuses on parenting and family dynamics and working with teenagers. Much of my counselling and writing focuses on mental health. My books include Cotton Wool Kidsin 2015, Bully-Proof Kidsin 2017 and, my latest book, Fragile, published in 2019.

I work in private practice in the midlands. Of the three second level schools in the area, one of them appears to handle bullying very effectively, another does reasonably well and the third encounters bullying on an almost continuous basis. This is remarkable as the children are mostly from similar backgrounds. The difference is that the problem school minimises the bullying incidents, while the other two schools are willing, to a greater or lesser extent, to address the problem and take steps to deal with it. It is notable that schools that are more competitive and more focused on their student's education results than their emotional well-being tend to minimise bullying. Anti-bullying programmes show varying degrees of success and are insufficient to change a culture of bullying within a school.

The research on bullying provides the resolution to this complex and chronic problem. It is estimated that approximately 75% to 90% of children do not bully, which means that 10% to 15% of them are bullying. The problem is that the children who do not bully are prepared to act as upstanders only some 20% of the time. Dan Olweus, a Swedish expert on bullying, coined the phrase, "If it's mean, intervene." If we can convince children to intervene and become upstanders when they see bullying, we can immediately reduce its frequency, intensity and impact. The role of adults in this context is to encourage the bystanders to act as upstanders and, perhaps more idealistically, to nurture potential bullies to be fair leaders.

Bystanders are the people who see everything but do nothing. Thousands of children today are bystanders to cruel bullying. They let the bullying happen in real life or online. The bystanders are the silent majority but they hold the majority of the power. It is estimated that bystanders are present in 90% of cases of bullying and could stop the bullying, online or in real life, within ten seconds if they chose to intervene. If we can create an environment where being a bystander means one is complicit in the drama, then we will eliminate the safe position of the bystander. Challenging bystanders to become upstanders will change the culture of bullying, whereby it is perceived as an inevitable happening, to one where it is instead perceived as a preventable problem.

It is helpful for schools to view bullying as an opportunity to teach children how to behave in a more socialised manner. Children are not yet fully socialised and their brains are not yet fully formed. This brings to the mind the words of Robert Ardrey: "But we were born of risen apes, not fallen angels..." Children may gravitate towards the pack instinct more quickly than adults do. It is our job, as concerned adults, to educate children such that bullying becomes less acceptable within the school culture. Bullying can be significantly reduced. However, to date, not enough people are educated about how to do this.

I thank the committee.