Dr. Colman Noctor:

It is a pleasure to be here. I am appearing as a board member of Mental Health Ireland and a child psychotherapist. I also work as an assistant professor at University College Dublin, UCD.

In my clinical experience, approximately 80% of the children who have attended my service have had a significant experience of what they describe as bullying. This appears to be a considerable contributor to many of their mental health difficulties. I work predominantly with girls who have eating disorders. Self-worth, self-belief and self-value are cornerstones of our mental well-being. Bullying is one of the leading causes of these qualities being eroded in children and is, therefore, a significant contributor to the mental health problems of children.

There are some important distinctions to be made in regard to bullying. Some children describe as bullying what can more accurately be described as robust banter. I fear that if we dilute the term too much, it will lose its significance, and language is an important player in the management of this dynamic. The key differentiation is intent. Childhood is a mixed bag of interactions of personality. Robust children, who may be the youngest of four and are used to enjoying the rough and tumble of physical and robust verbal engagement in the world, will share a space with more reserved, sheltered children who have no desire for such antics and may be hyper-sensitive to these events. As a result, it comes down to the spirit of the engagement and the levels of knowledge and intent of which all the parties are aware.

Childhood, by its nature, involves negotiating the social landscape and, therefore, mistakes and social errors or misjudgments will occur. For example, a child may be unaware of how his or her behaviour is impacting on someone else and has to be given an opportunity to adjust that behaviour. If, however, this feedback is given and the child knowingly persists with the hurtful behaviour, and continues to harass, torment, persecute or exclude another child, that cannot be tolerated.

It is my opinion that the most important element in predicting the management and behaviour of bullying is culture. A culture can hide harm in plain sight and the cultures of schools, sports organisations and clubs are strongly influential on the behaviour of their attendees. We need to invest in meaningfully respectful cultures, and a poster at the entrance of a school is not sufficient. In the bullying triad, there are the bully, the bullied and the bystander, and we underestimate the influence of the bystander. To cultivate culture, we must work to convert the majority. Contrary to popular belief, I am not sure the answer lies in making meek children robust or teaching children to hit back or answer back. Instead, it is about selling a culture of values and respect and stamping out a culture of avoidance, dismissal or tolerance.

The stories that have the greatest impact are those that go on for years. It is not unusual for me to hear a story of a child whose parents reported bullying incidents when a child was in senior infants and the response was that the class was spoken to as a group but nothing changed and that the child in question was then continually persecuted for the remaining six years, which can often have a devastating effect on their social and emotional development. Bullying has many forms and guises, some more identifiable than others. The overt name-calling and physical hostilities are easier to name and manage but the greatest challenge is exclusion. With greater opportunity for exclusion and exclusiveness in the contemporary world, through social media and so on, this is a considerable challenge.

The response to this is very complex. How do we instruct children to include or play with other children? How do we avoid micromanaging childhood relationships? This detrimental dynamic is a huge part of the bullying problem. My clinical caseload shows that children are far more affected by exclusion than physical bullying. Perhaps a move towards meaningful value systems is required. Although we have lots of focus on inclusion and embracing of diversity, little has been done to stem this tide of exclusion and isolation. For me, this is what we need to address.

In the meantime, there must be supports for children who are experiencing bullying and exclusion. The inclusion of therapeutically informed school staff would be a good way to start. In my view, having the right culture is the greatest ally. The culture should involve a value system that reflects the seriousness of the issue. A culture will only work if it is developed by the students from the inside out as opposed to the outside in. Parents must be included and must, from the off, buy into the culture of management of bullying and exclusion. Attending school, a sporting activity or a club free from the fear of persecution, hostility or exclusion should not be seen as a luxury. It is a basic human right that we need to take seriously.