Ms Ruth Gilhool:

It took two and a half years to have him finally assessed. I did not realise I could seek speech and language therapy privately. I finally found out that I could to have him assessed, only to discover that the person whom we had paid privately was a member of the early intervention team. It took me four months to fill in the assessment of needs form. I called the liaison officer who gave me the sheet of paper and the early intervention team to beg them to help, saying I did not know how to fill it in. For me as a parent, it was heartbreaking to write everything that was negative about my son. Parents feel like they are betraying their children. They do not realise they have to say everything that is happening in the home. Our assessment of needs was completed within nine months. What got to me in the way of guilt as a parent was that I did not know what was meant by the words assessment of need and by then I felt I had delayed my son's diagnosis. We now find out that, when on the waiting list, parents are sent to parenting courses and told that if they do not attend, they will be signed out of the service.

Parents are attending parenting courses when they do not even have an idea of the diagnoses relating to their children. Some are sitting there unsure. If a course has a bit about autism, does that mean their child has autism? A lot of the time on pages like the Dedicated Children's Advocacy Warrior groups and other parent groups emotional support is given to parents who are falling apart in their own home. At this stage, the relatives do not know what is wrong with the child, whether it is behaviour or whether it is bad parenting. They are not getting any sleep and the whole family unit is falling apart.